How do you feel about stopping, either a session or forever?

I'm not sure. It's like crying; you just eventually stop. [female, age 27, 16 years SIB]

As soon as the blood appears our world stops for the moment. [female, age 46]

Sometimes three years seems like yesterday and sometimes it seems like forever. Sometimes I look back and it's like I was a totally different person altogether. I think the hardest part for me was learning to forgive myself and stop taking on the guilt and responsibility of my abusers. I had to learn to treat myself good and take care of myself. Forgiveness helped me see myself... well... as at least tolerable at that time. Now I know there are other ways to let the hurt out and other ways to feel the hurt... I just needed someone to teach me... I was blessed to find an excellent therapist and she did just that. [female, age 28, 10 years SIB, Master's degree]

I am usually VERY upset during the process and venting of my emotions accompanies the cutting. Most of the time, I do not quit until I am exhausted both emotionally, and physically. [female, age 33, SIB since teens, Ph.D.]

I know it's time to stop when I can realistically see how much I'm going to hate myself for doing this the next day. I also stop when I have so many cuts that I can't possibly continue cutting unless I go over all the marks again. [female, age 13, 3 years SIB, middle school]

As for stopping myself, well, a description of how I pulled myself out of the Valley is very long and complex and contains lots of mystical revelation and inner exploration-type things; I read a book on the subject, and discovered that the self-mutilation, bulimia, and kleptomania had a fundamental root in sexual abuse I experienced as a child. Once I figured this out, I started working on stopping it. In the most basic sense, I finally stopped when I learned how to love myself again. I do have slight recurrences, and often have to fight the urge when particularly stressed out. [female, age 25, college degree]

I am currently "in recovery" and haven't cut in five months. What worked for me was declaring my bed a safety zone - I would not allow myself to cut if I was on my bed. [female, age 28, 2 yrs SIB]

Prozac -- 80 mg./day worked best. 120 made me too jumpy; <80 didn't do anything. [female, age 33, 23 years SIB, BA in human services]

I find that calling someone and being able to have the freedom to vent helps. Sometimes I will write my feelings down on paper speaking as I choose without pressure. [female, age 38, 27 years SIB, some college]

I haven't injured myself for almost 8 years now but when I get the urge these days I look at the state of my arm and all the awkward moments I've had trying to account for the scars when people ask what happened to my arm... I don't want to draw any more attention to them in case people start to think I'm not all there. [?]

I try to clean, if that doesn't work I try to write the pain away by putting it on paper but if that does not work I turn to the blade. [?]

It may sound silly but I find that playing with and talking to my dog helps. [female, age 18, 4 years SIB, HS valedictorian]

I've already collected a number of lasting scars on various parts of my body, and whenever I look at them and start to think, "You know you wanna do it", I just stop myself and say "No, I don't". There are times when I hate it and find it terribly embarrassing. It's almost reached the point of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde; Jekyll thought he could divide the good and the bad up with no real repercussions, but pretty soon, the bad started to rear his head with more frequency, took Jekyll over, and eventually led him to both his and Hyde's demise. I don't want that to happen to me. female, age 18, 4 years SIB, HS honor graduate, college freshman]

No I just stop or I look at my scars and think about how I will have them forever and how they make me ashamed of myself and how I would feel if my friends did it! [female, age 17, 2 years SIB, taking HS and college classes]

No, it is just delaying the inevitable. The idea of stopping for good terrifies me. I don't know what I would do without that release. I'm afraid I'll go back to abusing alcohol (too messy) food (too shame-filled) or pot (too numbing) so until I can deal with why I am hell bent on my own destruction - the cutting is best coping mechanism I have. [female, age 23, 5 years SIB (some at age 8, though), four years of college]

I do a lot of things... some sound really stupid. I do practical things like eat healthy and get needed rest. Sometimes I write poems, stories, or sketch because they take a lot of concentration and also express the emotions. Sometimes I will do a lot of physical exercise that is really intense-- I focus it on the area that I want to SM. Like if I am preoccupied with wanting to SM my legs, I run up a steep hill because I can feel both pain and heat in my legs. I hold onto ice-cubes for as long as I can because I feel pain and heat in my entire arm. I also try to make sure that I am not alone by being with a friend that is aware of the situation or just by being out in a public place. Sometimes I walk around Wal-Mart in the middle of the night if I have to. [female, age 28, 10 years SIB, Master's degree]

Taking a brisk walk. Shower, eat, scream; hey, I have a ton of lists... It is applying the techniques that takes lots of talk therapy. [female, age 43, 40 years SIB, AA degree]

Yes, I stop and think and tell myself to STOP not to do anything. It works for me. Not all the time, but sometimes when I'm not so bad off. [female, age 21, 5 years SIB, college sophomore]

Yes, my therapists do not play a role in stopping me, but I can make myself stop with the help of my parents. Now when I feel the need to cut, I call one of them to wherever I am, and they get me through it. Sometimes it feels like a need to have a hit off of a crack pipe, even with one of them in my presence the feeling gets so intense and aggravating. [female, age 22, 2 years SIB, 3 years college]

I don't want to stop. I want to stop. I better stop soon! [female, age 22, 9 yrs SIB, B.A.]

Trying to force you to stop with threats is stupid, threats are what trigger the actions. Sometimes after so many cuts I use sandpaper to scrub away the evidence. [female, age 24, 8 yrs SIB after a sexual attack at age 16, 6 years of college]

If you know someone who hurts themselves, leave them the hell alone. Let them deal with it themselves, because that's what most of us want. If you tell us we are idiots for doing it, that's just another reason to. [female, age 14, 1 yr SIB, in 8th grade]

It's not common sense or I wouldn't have started. I suppose [I stop a session] when I feel I have suffered enough or I get tired of doing it. [male, age 34, advanced degrees]

I started cutting within the last year when the strangling didn't seem to be punishing enough. I started strangling about four years ago when the effort of hiding what I was from the public became too great. I used to leave the table at my own dinner parties to go strangle myself so I could continue to function. When I strangle myself I know it's enough when I lose my balance and start to convulse. When I bleed I know it's enough when the blood drips down my arm. [female, age 46, Ph.D.]

Once this got triggered while I was in a restaurant, and I was able to stop it by tearing the napkin into shreds. Sometimes I can distract myself with another activity, but it has to be something that doesn't allow me to judge my performance, or I'll feel worse, e.g. reading is good, practicing a musical instrument is bad. Getting really drunk helps, but not always. Once I passed out from trying to get enough alcohol in me to stop. [female, age 23, 5 yrs SIB, university student]

It's very scary sometimes when I realise that what started as a means of keeping control is now very out of control. I've tried to stop cutting and I can't. This is my last shot at my degree and I have to stay with it... I'm not sure if I can. [male, age 21, 3 yrs SIB, university student]

To stop myself, I try to read some supportive letters from my friends, although they sometimes make me feel worse. sometimes I call hotlines for self-mutilation or suicide, but they can be really mean. I read books, I look at the moon. but I can never write poetry. if I try to stave it that way, it always ends up worse. [female, age 17, 5 yrs SIB, HS senior]

I just realized now that I will probably lose friends and important people because of this. They'll think I'm psycho and be scared of me. [female, age 16, 3 yrs SIB, HS junior]

To stop [a session] I often switch to something less invasive to tire myself out (switching from cutting to throwing myself against a wall until I've had enough). Never been to a therapist about it -- afraid to tell them. [female, age 21, many years of SIB, in third year of college]

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