Quote added in last update (22 September 98)
How did people react when you came out as a self-injurer?
I told a life long best friend.
Not easily but I felt I had to she knew I had these problems when I
was younger. I told her over the phone. I told my mom (only once, I
haven't been honest with her since because she became really
dramatic). I told her because I needed her to pay for the emergency
room bill and I had her stay with me when I got out of the hospital
because I didn't think I could stop myself. I had to tell my dad
because he is a doctor and he treated me the last time because I knew
I'd be put in the hospital if I went to anyone else. He was very calm
about it and said, "The next time there will be no anesthesia."
[female, age 21, 8 years SIB, junior in college]
People have asked me about it, and
I gave them the shortened summary of why, and they look disgusted and
call me names. [male, age 14, 2 years SIB]
When I tell people they usually
try to be empathetic, but it is usually obvious that they are filled
with confusion, morbid thoughts and images. All I know to tell them is
that it helps me. In a sick way, It helps me. Too, I feel with me that
it has become an addiction of sorts. The cravings for self-harm can be
just as bad as a craving for a drug. [female, age 38, 27 years SIB,
some college]
I got into a fight with my mother
when I asked her if I could see a psychiatrist. She said, "You have
to tell me why." So I told her that the scars on my arms weren't from
my cat. She asked if they were "needle tracks from using heroin."
Now let me tell you, when you are asking for help and someone accuses
you of using drugs, it just makes you feel worse. So I yelled and
screamed at her and told her what it was. Then she agreed to get me
help. [female, age 17, 7 years SIB, HS senior]
A few months after I told my mom about my cutting, she
always had this grudge with me about it. She always made me cover it
up when people came over the house, sometimes I really didn't care if
people would ask about it because I can always lie about it and they
would believe the lie. My mom told me once that if I ever cut myself
again that she would kick my a$$. That really hurt my feelings because
it's just like an addiction. It's like being an alcoholic, it's hard
not to take that sip of beer that made you became an alcoholic...
it's hard to stop cutting, it really is. [female, age 16, 9 months
SIB, 8th grade]
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